oatmeal and raisin is only good if it's super fresh

echindas are the only extant egg laying mammals

or aged for 10 years

Did the platypus go extinct while I wasn't looking?

Humans and leopards are the only animals that have sex out of spite.
By law, the first dance at all proms in Nebraska must be “The Safety Dance.”
11% of all parrots speak with a lisp.
The letters A, E, I, O, and U do not get along with Y.
A typical elevator goes up 38% more often than it goes down.

A Lego brick can withstand 900 lbs of pressure.
More than 90% of adoptions in Japan are adoptions of adults. This is often done to keep family businesses in the family.
Levi's sells a $27,000 pair of jeans designed by artist Damien Hirst.
The animal with the finest fur is the dog. Beavers and otters and such have quite luxurious fur, but are reluctant to share it. Dogs on the other hand are more than willing to give you a snuggle.

Humans have three eyes, for the four dimensions, but many choose to blind themselves for fear of madness.
Otters do not have a favorite color.
On average, he human soul weighs 8.2 milligrams in men, and 8.4 milligrams in women. This is up from 7.8/7.9 milligrams in 1880, when statistics were first collected.
The richest man in the town of Argsford, Nebraska is Tom Gorman, who invested heavily in banana futures before the great fruit boom of 2012.
Kazoos are illegal in Mongolia, although a thriving black market exists despite the recent legislation of the death penalty as a deterrent.
Hell is real, but still in beta testing.

The origins of myths are often pretty weird. "Unicorn" is actually derived from a Latin military term. Roman regiments coordinated by blowing on horns and the commander's messenger was known as the "singular horn". The unicorn was supposed to be given the fastest horse in the army, and over time the term came to refer to the horse itself in lieu of the rider. Medieval scribes misinterpreted the term, and the rest is mythology.

Unsubstantiated, but reliable rumors indicate that Xi Jinping plans to undergo surgery to look less like Winnie the Poo.

The moon isn't staring back; it's just you.

I don't think I've mentioned it before, but 'Eph' (along with its dimunitive form 'Ephie') is actually my real name these days, and hopefully it shall be a legal one soon as well.

I'm not sure how I'd define 'real name', but I imagine it's different to how you do it.
I've considered changing my name from Martin to Mathias because Martin is lame and basic and I'm like omg so quirky and special, but it seems like such a chore from a social perspective. I might do it if I ever get married, but I'm not about to pretend that is ever going to happen.

My mother would allegedly also have called me Mathias (or Matias? I guess I don't know how she would've written it) if she had considered it when giving me a name, which makes it feel a bit less disrespectful of me, although realistically it feels strange that your own name isn't something you have agency over.

My birth name was okay, but it was based on outdated information regarding my gender.

Hippos can moo just like cows.
Suburbs were originally located underground.
Australia armed and trained the Philippine death squad that killed the West Papuan leader.
Copper (Cu) once tried to stage a coup and become element #1 on the periodic table. It took the combined might of Niels Bohr and golden age Superman to put an end to the crisis.
Only one of these facts are real and it is the sad one.

If you don't like the connotations of your name, then it is your duty to rehabilitate it. Be quirky and special, until people associate Martin with specialness and quirk.

I am fighting against all the other people named Martin though, which there are a lot of, and the inherent commonality of the name is what contributes to it being so basic. I think most people that know me already consider me somewhat quirky.

To raise the perceptions of the name Martin to your level of quirk you just have to kill off all the lamest Martins.

Clearly,you have to kill them all until you're the only Martin left.

It would be pretty radical to have a name that is considered cursed because some psycopath once went all highlander on it, but I'm not sure I'm up to the task of being that particular psychopath.

Look on the bright side: if all the other Martins are lame, that means you're the coolest Martin.

lazy ass

It turns out that my quirky personality and eccentric approach to card design was schizophrenia all along.