No Goblins Allowed

Lorwyn Horoscope
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Author:  ParadOxymoron [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 2:07 am ]
Post subject:  Lorwyn Horoscope

I made a horoscope inspired by the tribes of Lorwyn.

This horoscope goes by seasons instead of months. The eight tribes are represented by the four seasons of even and odd years. Every two years, it moves to a different color of Magic: Gold, then WUBRG, then colorless. The full cycle starts from the year 1900 and repeats every 14 years.

You can use it to construct a personality profile for yourself based on your birthday, but it also dictates the general zeitgeist of the time in which it falls.

The seasons shift with the solstices and the equinoxes. Exact dates vary by a day or two depending on the year, but generally:
  • Summer is from June 22nd – September 22nd.
  • Fall is from September 23rd – December 21st.
  • Winter is from December 22nd – March 20th.
  • Spring is from March 21st – June 21st.

Even Years:

Summer | Treefolk
Fall | Elf
Winter | Faerie
Spring | Kithkin

Odd Years:

Summer | Elemental
Fall | Goblin
Winter | Merfolk
Spring | Giant


1900 | 1901 | 1902 | 1903 | 1904 | 1905 | 1906 | 1907 | 1908 | 1909 | 1910 | 1911 | 1912 | 1913
1914 | 1915 | 1916 | 1917 | 1918 | 1919 | 1920 | 1921 | 1922 | 1923 | 1924 | 1925 | 1926 | 1927
1928 | 1929 | 1930 | 1931 | 1932 | 1933 | 1934 | 1935 | 1936 | 1937 | 1938 | 1939 | 1940 | 1941
1942 | 1943 | 1944 | 1945 | 1946 | 1947 | 1948 | 1949 | 1950 | 1951 | 1952 | 1953 | 1954 | 1955
1956 | 1957 | 1958 | 1959 | 1960 | 1961 | 1962 | 1963 | 1964 | 1965 | 1966 | 1967 | 1968 | 1969
1970 | 1971 | 1972 | 1973 | 1974 | 1975 | 1976 | 1977 | 1978 | 1979 | 1980 | 1981 | 1982 | 1983
1984 | 1985 | 1986 | 1987 | 1988 | 1989 | 1990 | 1991 | 1992 | 1993 | 1994 | 1995 | 1996 | 1997
1998 | 1999 | 2000 | 2001 | 2002 | 2003 | 2004 | 2005 | 2006 | 2007 | 2008 | 2009 | 2010 | 2011
2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023 | 2024 | 2025

Treefolk (Even Summer)

If you were born in the Season of the Treefolk, you are a hearty, caring individual. You may not have a score of friends, but the ones whom you do decide are special, you are very close with indeed. You care about family, and make for a great parent, and an even better grandparent. But those who wrong you beware—though forgiveness is certainly within your repertoire, you are also capable of holding a grudge for your entire life.

Seasons of the Treefolk are times of new beginnings. These are the best times to start a new exercise regime, or build a new habit. Friendships made during this Season will be as resilient as the Treefolk's bark. Consider writing a serendipidous card to your mother.

Elf (Even Fall)

If you were born in the Season of the Elf, you are destined for greatness. Though some may be intimidated by your unearthly prowess, they simply do not understand what it is to be better than your peers. Your vengeance is calculated, and your hardships epic. To befriend an Elf is to gain a powerful ally—one whose advice you would be wise to heed, and whose sword you'd be a fool to cross.

A Season of the Elf is a time of deep focus. Whatever you do during this time, make sure to devote yourself to it with you utmost attention. Skills are to be sharpened, oaths are to be kept, and the words you write are to be held in memory for centuries to come.

Faerie (Even Winter)

Those born in the Season of the Faerie need no introduction. They captivate every room they enter, enthrall their lovers with a single glance, and carry themselves with an air of frigid grace that would shake the bones of even the stockiest of Kithkin. They tend to make excellent writers and musicians, and are endlessly precise and devout to their students if they choose to become teachers. Never break the heart of a Faerie, for though their pain will be enormous, that which you suffer in return shall fall back on you a thousandfold.

Be careful during Faerie Winters. Mistakes you make during this time will tend to haunt you for years to come. On the other hand, should you triumph during these cold, dark hours, your reward shall be magnificent, both financially and spiritually. Romantic relationships forged during this time will be unbelieveably intense, but few will last into the Kithkin's Spring.

Kithkin (Even Spring)

Everybody loves a Kithkin. These jolly little fellows are the type to skip around a park, pick up a dandelion, and whistle a whimsical tune. They flit from friendship to friendship quickly, and though they never intentionally hide their true emotions, their hearts may prove fickle even to themselves. A Kithkin will keep her feet on the ground, her head in the sky, and her food in her belly. She never knows quite when to stop, but it might be hard for her to get going. Be patient with the Kithkin. Though they may take decades to find their true selves, the person that emerges shall be a sight to behold.

Kithkin Springs are times to let go of your troubles, release your inhibitions, and let your spirits fly. Consider hosting a picnic, or a rooftop barbeque. The people you meet during this time will have a powerful impression upon you, and though you shall be sure to have the time of your lives together, you may find yourself unable to remember how to spell their last name. Artistic endeavors set forth during this time should be light and forthwith. Now is a time for comedy and laughter! Save the dramas for the Faeries.

Elemental (Odd Summer)

Thank goodness for the people born in the Season of the Elemental! These are the people whose smiles can brighten your day, and whose wrath can shake the skies. Like the Elf, they are full of magic and talent, but unlike the pretentious woodwalker, they carry their strengths with modesty and good faith. An Elemental is a natural-born leader, sure to star in many a play or lead his troops to decisive victory in war. When forming a bond with an Elemental, pay attention to your first impression—what you see tends to be what you get. This does not mean that Elementals never change—on the contrary, they are capable of extraordinary personal growth—but they may also be the type to trick themselves into thinking they're someone who they're not. Remind them who they were when you first met, and you'll be sure to bring great nourishment to their tempermental, yet kind-hearted souls.

Elemental Summers are just the greatest. These are the summers you look back on when you're older and wish you could go back to. Don't get carried away with any grand ideas—that might just be the elemental's fire luring you down a path that shall lead only to frustration. Take action, but don't dwell on things. Try to follow your heart more than your head. If there was ever a time to party, this is it.

Goblin (Odd Fall)

Goblins are some of the toughest people you'll ever meet. These are the football players, the prison guards, the police, and the criminals they hunt. Even if a Goblin is small in stature, they will never back down from a fight. They are very, very good at getting what they want. I'd tell you not to ever trust a Goblin, but having one in your corner will get you out of many a scrap. If it's their birthday, consider just giving them cash.

Goblin Falls are brutal. School years will be tougher to readjust to than their Elven counterparts on the even years. Honestly, if you can just make it through the Goblin Fall without suffering major crisis, I'd count that as a win in my book. Make big bets. Even if you lose them, you won't regret it.

Merfolk (Odd Winter)

Merfolk are those people who don't say much, but wow, when they do it's really something. They are meticulous planners. They never stray far from their riverbed, but within their domain they are a force to behold. People born in Merfolk Winters make for excellent scientists and scholars. If one decides they like you, you've got a friend for life. They don't form bonds easily, but to those with whom they do, they are fiercely loyal. Never get into an argument with a Merfolk. Even if you win, they'll only thank you for elucidating the subject.

Merfolk Winters are not as harsh as the Faerie ones. After the brush winds of the Goblin Fall have subsided, the deciduous trees will seem practically relieved to shed their leaves. Do the same with your inbibitions. This is the second best time to take a vacation after an Elemental Summer. On the other hand, it's marvellous time to curl up in bed with a great book, too.

Giant (Odd Spring)

Your favorite uncle is probably a Giant. Remember all the things he let you do your parents would never have let you get away with? Giants make great parents, too, though tend to be a bit more handsoff than Treefolk. They make for excellent actors, politicians, and athletes, and like the Elemental are sure to take the lead. But whereas the Elemental might end up getting all the credit, even despite themselves, the Giant is more the type of leader who brings out the strengths of the people he works with. These are the friends who will never get you down. If you get on a Giant's bad side, you're probably the one in the wrong.

Giant Springs are times of closure. As the last Season of the cycle, they lead into the Treefolk Summer with dignity and clarity. Consider buying a house—any financial decisions you make during this time are sure to be well-founded and confidently made. Maybe call that old friend you haven't seen in a while, or get back together with your ex. You'll find that in the Season of the Giant, things that once seemed as tall as a Mountain will finally fall into perspective.

Gold Years

Golden Years are just the best. Golden Elemental Summers are the best of all. If you were born in a Gold year, you're probably a couple inches taller than you should have been. Don't let it get to your head!

White Years

Kingdoms find their glory or their devestation during White years. Power dynamics solidify, and the weak are brought to heel. If you were born during a White year, you may be more likely to become an administrative authority figure in your field of choice, like a coach instead of am athlete.

Blue Years

Blue years are the ones in which dramatic change is least likely to happen. Personal growth on the individual scale will be at an all time high, but the dynamics in your community will be largely the same. If you were born during a Blue Winter, your Faerie or Merfolk traits will be emphasized even stronger.

Black Years

Black Years are tough. Prepare for personal tragedy. But remember: Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger! At the end of this two year cycle, you will emerge with more newfound clarity than two years ever had any right to give you. If you're a Black Kithkin, you'd make a great preacher.

Red Years

If Blue Years are the ones in which things are least likely to change, Red Years are when they're all sure to go haywire. Kingdoms will rise and fall in the blink of an eye, and peace is unlikely. If you were born in a Red year, especially if you're a Kithkin or an Elemental, it may be harder than usual to find your path, but once you do, you're sure to excel at it beyond your wildest expectations. Surprisingly, Red Merfolk make great morticians.

Green Years

Like Treefolk Summers, Green Years are a time for new begnnings. If the two should happen to overlap, expect the dawn of a new era. These are years in which we recover from the carnage of the red ones, and decide what's really important to us, both as individuals and communities.

Colorless Years

Colorless Years just have that little extra something in them that makes you remember them for decades to come. Expect incredibly powerful social forces, both good and evil, to come to the fore. It'll seem like they came out of nowhere, but in retrospect, the historians will see it had been building up all cycles long. Speaking of historians, Colorless Treefolk are among the best. And Colorless Faeries are probably the smartest people you'll ever meet.

Author:  Mown [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:12 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

are you ever intimidated by my unearthly card design skills parad

Author:  UselessCommon [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:31 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope


Author:  CuriousHeartless [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 11:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

Colorless Elf...I’ll make a card for that later.

Author:  TPmanW [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 12:44 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

Black elemental.
I was super okay with that until I read Curious' post and realized I don't get something that isn't already a card.
Now that Parad knows our horoscopes she can reverse engineer our personal info and steal our credit cards! Aaaah!

Author:  EpicLevelCommoner [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 1:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

Black Treefolk, and it surprisingly fits to some extent.

Sun-Starved Sapling
Creature - Treefolk
, : Exile target creature card from a graveyard, then draw a card.
Even abandoned within the shadows, the children of Colfenor have other means of obtaining nourishment.

Author:  BelangiaJo [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 1:54 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

Red Faerie.

Flittering Sprite -
Creature - Faerie Rogue | U
When Flittering Sprite enters the battlefield, discard a card at random.
Flying, haste
Whenever Flittering Sprite deals combat damage to a player, you may sacrifice it. If you do, draw a card.

Author:  TPmanW [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:05 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

That reminds me. I was going to do a PT autopsy in my TPcardsW thread. Somebody remind me about that.

Author:  CuriousHeartless [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

This isn't exactly at all Lorwyn but whatever.

Leyline Extricator
Creature - Eldrazi Elf
: Add
, : Add for each Eldrazi you control.

Author:  LilyStorm [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 6:53 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

Yeah but seasons are different everywhere

Anway I got blue goblin which is kinda not me

Author:  CuriousHeartless [ Tue Jun 12, 2018 7:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

"Everywhere" You're either that up there, or flip it if you're from beneath the equator.

Author:  LilyStorm [ Wed Jun 13, 2018 1:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

"Everywhere" You're either that up there, or flip it if you're from beneath the equator.

Youd be suprised how much it varies from area to area, especially in Texas, where its pretty much different every year. And sure there's the actual definition of winter and summer and etc. But it only matters how it feels. Fall isnt a time, its a scent in the air. (Sorry i think I've lost it)

Author:  TPmanW [ Wed Jun 13, 2018 10:17 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

Spring is a lie. Fall, a fable. Lies told to children to keep them in ignorance of the two great seasons. Thus has it ever been. These eyes have witnessed no time not winter nor summer. There is only the two; only ever has been.
Open your eyes, you sheep! Have any of you ever seen reason in the natural world for such a thing they call "Autumn"? No! It is a lie! Do not give yourself over to falsehoods!
Know that what I say is true. But find for yourself the reason why. And tell me. Tell me, why is it that we venerate seasons no man has ever seen?

So, yeah, where I live I like to joke that "There's no such thing as Spring. Winter and SUmmer just duke it out in the middle rounds".

Author:  Mown [ Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:08 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

If you can't see Autumn in your surroundings then you live in a pretty sad place.

Author:  TPmanW [ Thu Jun 14, 2018 12:32 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

Big autumn fan?

Author:  BelangiaJo [ Thu Jun 14, 2018 7:42 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

My boyfriend is a blue merfolk. How original!

Merfolk of Advancement -
Creature - Merfolk Artificer | U
When Merfolk of Advancement enters the battlefield, draw a card.
Whenever Merfolk of Advancement deals combat damage to a player, you may sacrifice it. If you do, draw a card.

Author:  Mown [ Thu Jun 14, 2018 7:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

TPmanW wrote:
Big autumn fan?

Can one not?

Author:  Yarium [ Thu Jun 14, 2018 8:36 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

The Golden Goblin |
Legendary Artifact | {MR}
Spend only mana produced by Gold or Treasure to cast The Golden Goblin.
Creatures you control get +1/+1.
Reduce the cost of spells you cast by one mana of any color.

Author:  Ragnarokio [ Thu Jun 14, 2018 4:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Lorwyn Horoscope

i was able to project on my horoscope a fair deal which probably makes it a well written horoscope-thing

Wayfinder -
Creature - Kithkin Explorer [U]
At the beginning of your upkeep you may search your library for a land, and exile it. If you do, shuffle your library.
Alliance - Whenever ~ attacks alongside a creature of another colour, you may put any lands exiled by ~ onto the battlefield tapped.

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