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 Post subject: Re: 'Suppose' Prose
PostPosted: Sun Sep 24, 2017 10:05 pm 
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Huey, you write viashino so well. It's really something.

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 Post subject: Re: 'Suppose' Prose
PostPosted: Mon Sep 25, 2017 2:50 am 
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Huey, you write viashino so well. It's really something.

Thank you for the kind words! I don't know about any viashino, but I'm glad the work I dedicated to that part of Thamirelk's worldbuilding shows :)

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 Post subject: Re: 'Suppose' Prose
PostPosted: Mon Sep 02, 2019 7:41 pm 
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misplaced, pt.1

prompt

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 Post subject: Re: 'Suppose' Prose
PostPosted: Tue Sep 03, 2019 9:07 pm 
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Poor Goldie. He just wanted his seat. I know when somebody takes my seat, it's a sad day. And then, in a gracious display and in an attempt to smooth over the hostilities, he was going to show that mean ol' Vash his prized possession, only to have it stolen from him. And he was about to use that to save the local orphanage from a vicious gang of bandits. What an unfortunate day. :paranoid:

Anyway, joking aside, this was a fun little scene, and I appreciated the drop-in reference to my old friend Merritt. I wonder if Jakkard AU Sharaka will run into Jakkard AU Daneera Appleseed. That would be fun. I see you have this listed as PT. 1, so it will be interesting to see where this story goes from here.

Thanks for posting, Huey.


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 Post subject: Re: 'Suppose' Prose
PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2019 7:06 am 
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Thank you for reading and commenting! I'll give Daneera Appleseed a thought or two, but I don't guarantee anything :D

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 Post subject: Re: 'Suppose' Prose
PostPosted: Thu Sep 05, 2019 4:22 pm 
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Thank you for reading and commenting! I'll give Daneera Appleseed a thought or two, but I don't guarantee anything :D

Yeah, it probably shouldn't happen, but the image of Daneera Appleseed just sort of cracks me up for some reason.


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 Post subject: Re: 'Suppose' Prose
PostPosted: Sun Dec 08, 2019 2:42 pm 
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Misplaced pt.2


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Last edited by Huey Nomure on Mon Dec 09, 2019 4:03 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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 Post subject: Re: 'Suppose' Prose
PostPosted: Sun Dec 08, 2019 9:49 pm 
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This was a fun little story. It reminds me a lot of Orcish's "3:15 to Dayko" with a train heist accidently saving a prisoner, but of course Sharaka's revenge is far more...visceral. I didn't think the second scene was particularly necessary, but the rest of it was enjoyable. I did find the repeated talk of snipers to be a little off-putting, not because Jackie wouldn't have them, but just because there seemed to be a larger than average focus put on them to me. But the conversation between Jackie, Dazie, and Sharaka was a lot of fun. I particularly liked how disappointed Sharaka seemed to be that Dazie didn't like her nickname. Shaka does like her nickname, doesn't she?

Thanks for posting, Huey.


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 Post subject: Re: 'Suppose' Prose
PostPosted: Mon Dec 09, 2019 4:48 pm 
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This was a fun little story. It reminds me a lot of Orcish's "3:15 to Dayko" with a train heist accidently saving a prisoner

The parallels are somewhat deliberate. I had pictured the encounter during an assault on one of Brax's fortresses at first, but there were too many moving pieces to coordinate. Trains are... well, linear. That said, I still have to decide if Jackie recruits Sharaka in addition to the twins, or instead of them. In the latter case, we can imagine Dazie's release had been slightly different (maybe there was some other way to pin the jailers) and I'd have to rewrite the Little Forks plan.

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of course Sharaka's revenge is far more...visceral.

Certainly more widespread :D Though I'd like to point out that while Hush-Hush was already safe when she got freed, Sharaka had to free herself just to be surrounded by enemies, albeit unarmed and confused ones, and had no idea that she had potential allies coming toward her. She certainly enjoyed slaughtering her captors, and her power set tends to produce gory aftermaths, but taking them down was in essence a survival move. (she also didn't chase foes running to the back to the train, but the ones going for the locomotive, her potential means for escape)

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I didn't think the second scene was particularly necessary, but the rest of it was enjoyable.

I was aware of that, but I wanted to add some info about Nails that may or may not be relevant in later parts. Now that section is slightly shorter but has an additional detail, and most of the contained info is picked up again in the next part.

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I did find the repeated talk of snipers to be a little off-putting, not because Jackie wouldn't have them, but just because there seemed to be a larger than average focus put on them to me.

I guess they don't have the importance one could imagine reading about them first thing in the story, but I don't think they take up too much space: once the action starts, they only get mentioned once, and I felt like I needed to take into account the fact some of the mooks would try to leg it. The need for cover fire is also very real, since they're not assaulting a passenger train with a score of armed defenders tops, but a train full of experienced and ruthless killers, which as far as they know could have retained control of their weapons. Aside from that, we very rarely (if at all) see Jackie come up with or describe a complete plan to her men and I don't have much knowledge about assaulting heavily defended trains, so I was a bit at a loss as to how to show Jackie's mastermind side. I admit I don't know where I was going with this.

I'm curious: what do you mean by "average"? If you mean by the average Jackie story, I'd be inclined to agree, since Sage is the only one worthy of memory.

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I particularly liked how disappointed Sharaka seemed to be that Dazie didn't like her nickname. Shaka does like her nickname, doesn't she?

Indeed she likes her nicknames. They can be either a way to tease/annoy or a way to celebrate a relationship...or both! :D

Thanks for reading and commenting!

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 Post subject: Re: 'Suppose' Prose
PostPosted: Wed Dec 25, 2019 8:18 pm 
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More than anything else, this is a Christmas Present to our absentee Orc (may we always be found.)

Enjoy!

A Special Occasion


Suppose...


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 Post subject: Re: 'Suppose' Prose
PostPosted: Sun Dec 29, 2019 9:27 am 
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Couldn't stop thinking that having 5 daughters must be hell sometimes :D It's strange how well the two family connect, since we have little screentime with Moira's husband and Robert's wife. Having bigger sisters able to stand their ground (and not being orphaned early) believably kept Astria a bit more... manageable :D

Thank you for sharing!

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 Post subject: Re: 'Suppose' Prose
PostPosted: Sun Dec 29, 2019 1:00 pm 
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Couldn't stop thinking that having 5 daughters must be hell sometimes :D It's strange how well the two family connect, since we have little screentime with Moira's husband and Robert's wife. Having bigger sisters able to stand their ground (and not being orphaned early) believably kept Astria a bit more... manageable :D

Thank you for sharing!

My grandmother had eight sisters and no brothers :takei: I can only imagine what my great-grandfather's life was like.

Anyway, the missing father in the Trevanei family is the big thing that led me to this story, as well as the realization that Moira would have been a far better match for Robert than the Comtess. I mean, maybe I'm being unfair to the Comtess here (I usually am, I suspect) but I can only imagine how happy the two could have been together, especially if they didn't have something like the threat of The Duchess hanging over them.

I like how Astria changes (and how she doesn't) with the presence of an older sister, especially one like Margot, who has always been very family-focused. You can certainly see flashes of Astria's worse characteristics here, but being tempered by the even more commanding (yet far more loveable) Margot refocuses her energies into more constructive venues here, like actually mentoring Beryl and encouraging Elise.

And honestly, just thinking about Beryl and Elise as sisters is somehow really cute to me.

Thanks for reading!


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