Poisoned Apple

Artifact (R)
When Poisoned Apple enters the battlefield, target opponent gains control of it.
If you would gain life, instead you lose that much life.
: Gain 6 life. Destroy Poisoned Apple. Activate this ability as a sorcery.

Querying Sandspeaker —
Artifact Creature — Sphinx (R)
4/5
Flying
When Querying Sandspeaker, secretly choose "casts a noncreature spell," "draws a card outside of their draw step," or "attacks with two or more creatures."
Whenever an opponent performs the chosen action, reveal the chosen action, then draw a card and exile Querying Sandspeaker until end of turn

Razorchain

Artifact -- Equipment (U)
Whenever equipped creature attacks, put a momentum counter on Razorchain.
Equipped creature gets +1/+1 for each momentum counter on Razorchain.
At the beginning of your end step, if a creature equipped by Razorchain didn't attack this turn, remove all momentum counters from it.
Equip

Selfspeaking Automaton —
Artifact Creature — Construct (U)
2/2
Exalted
Whenever Selfspeaking Automaton attacks alone, you and defending player each draw a card.

Tome of the Forbidden

Artifact (R)
Tome of the Forbidden enters the battlefield tapped and doesn't untap during your untap step.
At the beginning of draw step, if Tome of the Forbidden is untapped, draw two cards and lose 2 life.

Umpire's Whistle
Artifact (U)
, : Target creature doesn't untap during its controller's next untap step. It's activated abilities can't be activated for as long as it remains tapped.
"OFFSIDES!"

Vampire's Mask
Artifact — Equipment
Equipped creature has menace.
Whenever Vampire's Mask becomes unattached from a creature, that creature gains lifelink, flying, and deathtouch until end of turn.
Equip—, Pay 2 life
The fear of the thing is not always worse than the thing.

Writer's Tome

Artifact
, : Exile the top card of your library face-down. You may look at and play that card for as long as it remains exiled.
, : Restart the game, except you manifest all cards exiled with Writer's Tome. Activate this ability only if there are eight or more cards exiled with Writer's Tome.

Xi's Mox
Legendary Artifact (M)
: Add . Activate this ability only if you control a red permanent.

Yogg-Saron's Portal

Legendary Artifact
, : Choose at random the name of an instant or sorcery card (Among all cards legal in this format). You may copy that card and cast the copy without paying its mana cost.

Zenith of the Darksteel Moon
Instant
Choose up to X target artifacts. They gain indestructible and hexproof until end of turn. You may put a charge counter and/or a +1/+1 counter on it. Shuffle Zenith of the Darksteel Moon into its owner's library.

Alabaster Abbey
Land (R)
Alabaster Abbey enters the battlefield tapped.
Whenever Alabaster Abbey enters the battlefield, you may put onto the battlefield attached to it any number of Auras that could enchant it from your graveyard.
: Add .
Hope of an afterlife or hope for a better one?

Battlefield Tent
Land
: Add .
: Add or . Activate this ability only during combat phases.
Barrack, war room, hospital, chapel.

Cutthroat Alley
Land (C)
When Cutthroat Alley enters the battlefield, target creature can't block this turn.
: Add .

Diagon Alley
Legendary Land
: Add .
, Discard a card: Reveal the top card on your library. If it's an artifact, instant, or sorcery card, you may put it into your hand.

Edge of the Realm
Land (U)
When Edge of the Realm enters the battlefield, each player may put a land card from their hand onto the battlefield tapped.
: Add .

Fjord F-150
Land (U)
Equipment you control has indestructible.
: Add .
"I googled 'types of terrain that start with f' and got fjord and I was like lol oh duh.'" - Urza

Goliath's Fist
Land - Mountain (R)
(: Add .)
As long as ~ is a creature, it gets +3/+3 and has trample.
When the mountains move, the world shakes.

Hel's Gate
Legendary Land
: Add
If a creature card would leave any player's graveyard, instead exile it face down and add one mana of any color.
You may look at and cast cards exiled by Hel's Gate and may cast them as though they had flash.

Interplanar Sanctuary
Land - Plains Island

(: Add or .)
~ enters the battlefield tapped unless you played it from your hand.