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PostPosted: Thu Dec 27, 2018 5:13 pm 
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The Tortoise and the Jester


Last edited by RavenoftheBlack on Tue Jan 01, 2019 4:31 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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PostPosted: Mon Dec 31, 2018 10:55 pm 
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OK, wow. This is fascinating, Raven. *Fascinating.* Thank you so much for sharing!

As ever, with a Raven story, I find myself with a sneaking suspicion that there must be a specific allusion here which I'm missing, but, even in the absence of a specific key to this lock (if you'll pardon the analogy), this whole piece feels like it exists in some deeply fractured fairy tale space that's about midway between Lewis Carroll, "All Along the Watchtower," and Stephen King, and the cumulative effect is equal parts fascinating and terrifying. I love so many of the bits of language, here, between the sort of deeply ominous prologue, and the Jester's sing-song narration, and the back-and-forth between the two over the spectacularly-loaded double meaning of "all locks can be picked," and the dual role which the word "tumbler" can play in that context. There's something delightfully grotesque about the ways the Jester casually contorts his body as he talks, and how unremarkable this is to them both. And the pullback to show the Tortoise's endless parallel sets of footprints made me shiver. Similarly, the allusions to Her versus her and the various mothers and their daughters had be racking my memory banks to try to decide if these are references to other, specific characters in the M:EM, or if the people they refer to are ones we haven't yet met. I mean have my notions, but not confidently enough to want to share them just yet.

Anyway, this is different, and fascinating, and I love it. Thanks so much for sharing!

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PostPosted: Tue Jan 01, 2019 4:30 pm 
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OK, wow. This is fascinating, Raven. *Fascinating.* Thank you so much for sharing!

And thank you for reading! "Fascinating" is a perfectly satisfactory reaction to story, and I am very pleased if people can thusly describe my work!

As ever, with a Raven story, I find myself with a sneaking suspicion that there must be a specific allusion here which I'm missing,

I'm not sure where you get this idea from. I'm reasonably certain that none of my stories have ever connected to any other story or plotline.

:huh:

Alright, well, maybe one or two...

but, even in the absence of a specific key to this lock (if you'll pardon the analogy), this whole piece feels like it exists in some deeply fractured fairy tale space that's about midway between Lewis Carroll, "All Along the Watchtower," and Stephen King, and the cumulative effect is equal parts fascinating and terrifying.

"There must be some way out of here," said the Jester to the Mock Turtle. "Maybe by hopping in my car Christine and heading over to that Dark Tower near the Pet Cemetery…"

I love so many of the bits of language, here, between the sort of deeply ominous prologue, and the Jester's sing-song narration, and the back-and-forth between the two over the spectacularly-loaded double meaning of "all locks can be picked," and the dual role which the word "tumbler" can play in that context.

I really debated on the inclusion of the prologue, but ultimately, I really liked it for several reasons, so I'm glad it worked for you. I was very happy with the way the Jester turned out, and the juxtaposition between him and the (almost) always stoic Tortoise, I felt, worked very well. And yes, their dialog is full to the prime of double meanings, but punny double-meaning and metaphorical double-meaning. It was a really fun scene to work on, and I was particularly proud of the tumbler thing.

There's something delightfully grotesque about the ways the Jester casually contorts his body as he talks, and how unremarkable this is to them both.

This ultimately started because I could just envision so clearly the Jester walking on his hands, backwards, at roughly the same pace as the Tortoise was moving normally. Now admittedly, Tortoises (and all turtles, really) can move quite quickly when properly motivated, but believe me, this particular Tortoise is in no hurry. For instance:

And the pullback to show the Tortoise's endless parallel sets of footprints made me shiver.

I figured that, in a sense, this would be when the other shoe would drop. This moment probably tells more about what's going on than anything else in the story. Sadly, that still doesn't tell the uninitiated much, but it hints at some of the realities of these two characters that the rest of the piece doesn't really.

Similarly, the allusions to Her versus her and the various mothers and their daughters had be racking my memory banks to try to decide if these are references to other, specific characters in the M:EM, or if the people they refer to are ones we haven't yet met. I mean have my notions, but not confidently enough to want to share them just yet.

I would certainly be interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter! In the meantime, I will leave the various "hers" of the story a mystery, tantalizing though it is...

:D

Anyway, this is different, and fascinating, and I love it. Thanks so much for sharing!

This is pretty different from most of what I've written, so I'm glad it worked for you. Thanks for reading and, as always, thanks for commenting!


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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 2:26 pm 
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Beautifully surreal.

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 09, 2019 10:57 pm 
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Beautifully surreal.

Thanks, Helio!

I was really happy with the overall feel and tone of this piece.

Thanks for reading!


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 5:02 pm 
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And yes, their dialog is full to the prime of double meanings, but punny double-meaning and metaphorical double-meaning. It was a really fun scene to work on, and I was particularly proud of the tumbler thing.

It's really good. It's all REALLY GOOD.


I would certainly be interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter! In the meantime, I will leave the various "hers" of the story a mystery, tantalizing though it is...

:D

Well, I really only have one thought -- singular -- as opposed to thoughts, plural. As far as "Her" goes, I'm pretty sure that the Duchess has been referred to with that sort of God-capitalization before, so she would fit the bill. Trapping people in some sort of allegorical limbo would also be very much her style. But I'm not sure how the allusions to a mother who destroys her own children would fit for her, unless it's referring to some aspect of her character or background with which we aren't already familiar.

As for the her-her, whose "weakness gave her strength, and strength has made her weak," that could weirdly be Beryl? But I think that's just because she's readier to mind for me than other characters, and because opposing her to the Duchess makes a sort of sense. But that's just putting more stories on top of an uncertain foundation. Also, the idea that she is hard to find doesn't fit, since Beryl isn't exactly hiding.

Anyway, I'm sure someone else can do better than me. :)

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PostPosted: Mon Jan 21, 2019 5:35 pm 
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And yes, their dialog is full to the prime of double meanings, but punny double-meaning and metaphorical double-meaning. It was a really fun scene to work on, and I was particularly proud of the tumbler thing.

It's really good. It's all REALLY GOOD.

Thanks!

I would certainly be interested in hearing your thoughts on the matter! In the meantime, I will leave the various "hers" of the story a mystery, tantalizing though it is...

:D

Well, I really only have one thought -- singular -- as opposed to thoughts, plural. As far as "Her" goes, I'm pretty sure that the Duchess has been referred to with that sort of God-capitalization before, so she would fit the bill. Trapping people in some sort of allegorical limbo would also be very much her style. But I'm not sure how the allusions to a mother who destroys her own children would fit for her, unless it's referring to some aspect of her character or background with which we aren't already familiar.

As for the her-her, whose "weakness gave her strength, and strength has made her weak," that could weirdly be Beryl? But I think that's just because she's readier to mind for me than other characters, and because opposing her to the Duchess makes a sort of sense. But that's just putting more stories on top of an uncertain foundation. Also, the idea that she is hard to find doesn't fit, since Beryl isn't exactly hiding.

Anyway, I'm sure someone else can do better than me. :)

:huh:

That's an interesting thought. If only there were some way to know whether or not you're right...

:laugh:


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